Reduced To Tears
Monday, August 5, 2013
Dream A Little Dream
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Well I don’t really know
where to start off this is by far the worst thing that has ever happened in my
life. Early in September. I felt as if my life was in a rut. I woke up, went to
collage, come home, homework and went to sleep. I never did anything different.
Everyday I would wake up with a frown and think my life is colorful. I looked
around my surroundings and realized that I am back to reality. When I fall asleep,
I feel like I can escape and dream of something beautiful and I can feel awake!
In reality, I am just another broken guy. This month, at times I am having
troubles at campus and home exactly as well. Everything is even worse but
this time it is worse. I found out I had despression. My friend's statements
everyday, it’s makes me hurt, it’s freaking me out and it’s makes me
automatically cry. I walked to my room pretended that it didn’t effect me but
it really did. I began to have a meltdown and continued crying. I wish I could
become a fish and swim endlessly through the ocean, lost in my own thoughts and
forget my problems. But I know every moment I get is a gift, moments of sorrow,
moments of happiness, moments of downhearted. What my dad think about me isn’t
important. What I think about myself means everything! Yes! Sometimes I have to
put on a fake smile on to my father and just pretend it never happened, because
I don’t want he yelling and grumbing at me anymore. And I know that being nice
to someone I dislike doesn’t mean I am a fake! It means I am mature enough to
tolerate my dislike towards him!
Here I am trying to hold
back the tears that I am trying so hard not to spill in front of my friends. I
had tried to stay strong, looks that I’m feel okay. As I feel to darkness
sadness and silence the pain builds up the tears show up and I go down. I
remember, September 2012, when I walked alone in the mid-night among the street
lights while listening to the song that seems to exist with light breeze that brought
me to heights.
The downhearted, sadness
and fake smile make this lonely ambiance. I can’t resist! And I tried forget
all that problems for a while about my friend’s statements that make my
pressure’s on. And to let go is to be thankful for the experience that made me
laugh, made me cry and made me grow up or made me too downhearted. I don’t know
what going to happen next but I know that it’s not over yet.
God it’s me again
praying that you take awat all my worries, problems and any illness and please
watch over and bless me. Even though I may be hurting just know God has plan.
Have faith and believe. I’II be stronger in the end.
Reduced to tears is an
Idom. It means when someone or something reduces you to tears, they make you
fell so unhappy that you cry
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